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As I woke up this morning, I was filled with a sense of unmet expectations for this notorious day in February.
Expectations I unrealistically placed on myself.
Dinner was supposed to be fantastic, I was supposed to be dressed up with makeup on, ready to greet Tim as he walked in the door, the house should have been decorated for Valentines Day. . . .
Yeah, none of that is happening.
Here is what is really happening:
Ashton is teething and is grouchy about napping (although he's still sleeping, thankfully!, as I write this post), the house is a wreck from the weekend, the carpet is still not vacuumed, the dishes JUST got done and I still have to wipe off the counters . . . .
I am REALLY not feeling like getting all "dolled" up right now and so I am in a pair of casual pants and a top with hair and makeup not done . . . actually I'm feeling more like taking a nap.
This is what Valentines Day is for me right now, in this moment . . . and I start to get stressed . . .
But then I remember what Tim did for me this morning:
He kissed me with morning breath and bed hair and told me I looked beautiful.
He gave part of his gift for me and wished me Happy Valentines Day before he left for work.
He gave me our son, Ashton.
And he has blessed my life since we were married almost 8 years ago.
Perfect? Hardly, but God gave him to me as my husband so therefore, I am a blessed woman.
I also take pause and remember our baby.
We waited 7 years for this little man and this is his first Valentines Day.
I also take pause and remember our baby.
We waited 7 years for this little man and this is his first Valentines Day.
Not that he'll remember it, but still. He is ours and he has blessed our lives richly in the past four months.
I still catch myself thinking about the day he was born and I get teared up. Like how I felt when they put my son on my chest for the first time or how it felt when I was the only voice he would listen to in the hospital when he was fussing and how he'd calm down or how it looked when Tim held his son for the first time . . . and yes, I could go on and on and on.
Is he crabby from teething? Yes. Is he being stubborn about napping? Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way, really. When I stop and think about it.
Then I think about my Savior has done for me (which causes me to pause), who has indeed abundantly blessed me with more than I could ask or imagine.
And I can imagine quite a bit. But in the end, it's all just stuff, really. Even a pair of the most gorgeous shoes imaginable (and I'm drooling, this is really quite embarrassing) is just stuff.
The reality is that Jesus gave us the greatest valentine possible: eternal life made possible only through himself and his work on the cross.
Wow.
Perfect dinners, all "dolled" up and valentine decorations pale in comparison.
I still catch myself thinking about the day he was born and I get teared up. Like how I felt when they put my son on my chest for the first time or how it felt when I was the only voice he would listen to in the hospital when he was fussing and how he'd calm down or how it looked when Tim held his son for the first time . . . and yes, I could go on and on and on.
Is he crabby from teething? Yes. Is he being stubborn about napping? Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way, really. When I stop and think about it.
Then I think about my Savior has done for me (which causes me to pause), who has indeed abundantly blessed me with more than I could ask or imagine.
And I can imagine quite a bit. But in the end, it's all just stuff, really. Even a pair of the most gorgeous shoes imaginable (and I'm drooling, this is really quite embarrassing) is just stuff.
It doesn't matter when I think about spiritual things, like how I am to glorify Jesus in all my tasks, whether it's grocery shopping or mopping the floor or cleaning up baby/dog barf.
Or how I am supposed to love and serve my husband whether or not he deserves it.
Or how I am supposed to do this: "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)
The reality is that Jesus gave us the greatest valentine possible: eternal life made possible only through himself and his work on the cross.
Wow.
Perfect dinners, all "dolled" up and valentine decorations pale in comparison.
I will leave you with what I read this morning in "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young
"Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!" (Scripture used: Hebrews 12:2; Isaiah 41:13)
For I, the LORD your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, "Fear not,
I am the one who helps you."
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, "Fear not,
I am the one who helps you."
~Isaiah 41:13
So much for the unmet/unrealistic expectations.
Hopefully dinner won't be burnt. But I have my Savior and Lord, my husband and my son to be grateful for this Valentines Day
And who knows? Perhaps this will start a tradition in our house of Valentines Day pizza *wink wink*
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